Legacy

I have an odd memory. I have the uncanny ability to remember people. In fact, sitting here right now, I could probably remember most of the kids in my 5th grade class with Ms. Burnett. There will be times I'm watching TV and one feature of the person I'm watching will look a lot like someone I know...usually the "someone I know" is from many many years ago, but I will still think wow "So and So's mouth looks just like that". And that memory usually comes full circle that night when I dream about the person. Which all together freaks me out. I've had dreams about people I have not spoken to in at least a decade and there they are, in my subconscious.  (Completely off topic, but I also have an uncanny ability to remember songs.For instance: I got a Disney soundtrack CD from my brother when I was growing up and to this day, I can recite any song from any of the classic Disney movies.)

Anywho, I digress. Today, I recognized a friend that had recently joined Facebook. We used to hang out quite a bit in high school and always had a lot of fun together. And I got to thinking...will he remember me? Did I leave enough of a 'mark' on his life that he'd remember me? Or am I a forgotten friend? (And, no, we didn't date or anything.)

But what really bothered me, is that I think this about most people. I feel like most of my friends from times passed have accepted my "friend" requests because we have mutual friends, not because they actually remember ME. I was terrified that one of my closest friends growing up wouldn't remember me, after not speaking since high school. And I know I haven't lost my identity because I've gotten married or had a baby. Its been this way even when I was single and just in another state. I seem to worry about leaving a 'mark' in people's lives. Its a strange feeling when I can clearly remember just about everyone I've had contact with, but worry that no one will remember me. And deep down I wonder to myself "Why would they remember me?" I guess I just don't think I'm all that memorable....but I don't want to think that way! I want to think I've had the ability to touch lives in a positive way and made a difference, somewhere, somehow!

And after that worry dwindles, I'm left wondering: If they do remember me, what is it that they remember? Was I the funny girl that made them laugh? Or the nerdy girl that tried too hard? Or just the girl that was there that one time...and so on and so on.

Should I really be concerned with this? Maybe.  I want to make sure that I leave a lasting legacy. I want to make sure I'm uplifting to those that need a boost. And a good listener for those that need to chat. I want to make sure that I'm remembered for being who I am. The real me. The person I've become and the person I'm becoming. And with that being said, I'm reminded of a song I'd like to share that's popped into my mind when I was writing this. Legacy, sung by Nichole Nordeman . Since it kept playing in my head, over and over, I thought it was best to share it and perhaps it will help me express a little more poetically what I've been trying to convey :)



[On a side (and lighter) note: E moved in a crawling fashion tonight. A little less than a crawl, but with a little more force would definitely turn into a crawl. She managed to move herself off the carpet onto the hardwoods (which apparently are fun to lick :))]