Monday, April 18, 2011

I hate the doctor and this is why...

Because only something this ridiculous could happen to me, I'm going to share my most embarrassing doctor's appointment. But first, the back story. I hate going to the doctor. I like to keep my privates private. Go figure. Being pregnant, I lost most of my dignity with all the trips to the doctor. Giving birth? Good thing I had drugs, because I really didn't care at that point. The cleaning crew could have walked in while I had my hoo-ha in the air and it wouldn't have phased me.

So today, I had my first annual "girl down there parts" doctor's appointment. To say I was a wee bit anxious would be a complete understatement. For starters, I had E with me. She's usually pretty good and I planned it just right so she would be fed and ready. It also worked out perfectly that it would be during her "playtime" and she would be content to stare at all the friends I brought for her. Of course, that would be if the appointment was actually at the appointment time.

Ten minutes after my scheduled appointment, I am called back. The nurse lets me know that they don't have a room available yet, but she's going to go ahead and get my blood pressure and weight. Oh joy. At least since my 6 week postpartum check up I've lost 20 pounds. That was one bonus. But I digress. When I'm getting my blood pressure taken, I mention to the nurse that I'm breastfeeding, so I'm not sure if that will affect the exam at all. She says, nope, it won't be a problem. In my head, I'm thinking, please don't make me take off my bra because I'm libel to have have a bit of a leakage problem. Still waiting for a room, so I head back into the waiting room.

Another 10 minutes passes and I'm called back to a room. The nurse tells me to get naked and put on the gown-thing. I do as told, while constantly worrying to myself about the aforementioned leakage problem. "Have some patience, self". HA! E is just hanging out in the stroller looking around, so for the time being, we're good. Mind you, I timed her feeding, napping, etc. so that I would only go past her naptime by about 15 minutes. So, I wait. And wait. And wait.

45 minutes later, I'm standing in the room, wearing an ill-fitted gown, holding E because at this point she is tired of being in the stroller. I'm desperately trying to give her toys to play with so that she won't fuss, when I feel sweat on the gown. Funny, thats an odd place to sweat. OH, its not sweat....the dreaded leakage. Glorious. And I'm still waiting.

Finally, an hour after I arrived at the doctor's office, he comes into the room, with his medical student trailing behind. Bonus number two. So now, I'm not embarrassed because the doctor is there to see my nice leakage, but some random med student to boot. Doctor says his thing, blah blah (I'm really not listening because, well, hello, I've got issues!) But when the doctor asks if I'm nursing and I say yes, he goes, oh we won't do the breast exam then. Thank you, nurse, for being wrong! I could have partially saved some embarrassment. Ahh, now for the real fun. The med student is going to do the "exam". Bonus number three. Apparently he's been in med school for like a day, because it DID NOT feel pleasant. I mean, when does that check feel pleasant, but this really didn't feel great. And it seemed like it took a lot longer than it needed to, but I guess Mr. Med School figured, oh she's had a kid, no big deal ramming full speed ahead...BLAH! I'm all for learning and such, but please be gentle.

Luckily, E was so mesmerized by the other people in the room, she forgot about fussing. After all was said and done, I got dressed as fast as possible and bolted out of there. Yet another appointment that leaves me still not liking the doctor. More importantly, I left wondering to myself, why in the world would a man want to be an OBGYN? I just don't get it. It really does baffle me.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Hummus...who knew?

I love hummus. Especially with pita chips. I love making homemade hummus, with yummy garlic. Gets me hungry just thinking about it. Well, last week Publix had hummus b1g1 free. Um, duh, of course I'll buy it, because as noted above, I love it. So I ate a good bit of it, savoring each bite. The next day was hell. Literally. Let me explain: my child is (knock on wood) an excellent sleeper. She will sleep for 9-10 hours, uninterrupted, at night and will usually take 2 or 3 2 hour naps during the day. For me, this is bliss. Naptime is essential for mommy to get stuff done around the house, work, etc.

The day after I ate hummus? E slept her usual amount at night, but hardly napped during the day. And when I had done all I could do, I tried to get her to play with her "friends" (which consists of her toys hanging above her head on the floor), she wasn't having it. The instant I put her down to play, she cried. And thats when I realized we had a problem. E doesn't cry like that. She loves playing with her toys, looking at herself in the mirror and what have you. If I put her down to play, whether under her 'dome of destruction' or in her bouncy seat, and she cries, something is not right. So, the whole time she wasn't napping, she was in my arms. And this gets difficult. By the time hubs got home, I was in a fragile state. He took over so I could run out to clear my head. Wouldn't you know, E slept for 2 hours once he got home?

Without determining the problem, I ate hummus again on Weds. Thursday, was a repeat of the day above. Almost to the minute. E woke up early in the morning, barely napped all day and was generally unhappy. Today its like a whole new baby. She napped for 2+ hours this morning and has been happy all day. I'm no expert, but I believe my beloved hummus is the culprit. I never would have thought it would cause her belly discomfort, but I'm not eating it again if it saves me from a terrible day!

On a completely separate note: I've given up dairy. Milk, cheese, butter, done. We had a nice run and I do miss my dear friends, but for now, they are dead to me. I noticed when I went to visit my family that I ate quite an excessive amount of dairy. Much more than usual. And the effect it had on E was remarkable. She had some congestion, a rash on her belly, a red little bottom and spit up a ton. I've now been dairy-free for a little more than a week and already I've noticed a great difference in her. The rash on her tummy is completely gone. Her congestion has gotten much better and her little bottom is no longer red. I am no doctor and I realize that I self-diagnosed, but I'd say dairy was the culprit. Don't know if its related, but I've lost 10 pounds (not just since eliminating dairy, but in general).

Friday, April 1, 2011

Pity Party

Warning: This post is full of me feeling sorry for myself. Read at your own risk.

For 3 days, I have been replacing one of E's feedings with a bottle. And for 3 days, we have both sobbed together for at least an hour. I have tried 3 different kinds of bottles/nipples, warmed the bottle, breastmilk and nipple and still, we've cried. And I am not exaggerating when I say "we". Because when I try to feed my child a bottle, she looks at me with those pitiful little eyes wondering why her mommy isn't feeding her the right way and screaming in what seems like agony. And in response, I cry, because I can't feed her the way I want to, I have to feed her the bottle. Usually after about an hour or more, she relents and takes the bottle. At that point we're both tired, frustrated, angry, sad, you get the point.

And I feel to blame. I knew I would have to leave her at some point, but I haven't been good about replacing one feeding a day with a bottle. So, the fragile schedule we've already built is crumbling because she doesn't eat at the "proper" time. E just doesn't love the bottle. I'm hoping by the time I have to leave her she will be better about taking the bottle. And if she isn't? I just hope her grandparents can cope with her.

Husband found me crying in the kitchen last night, like a blubbering fool because she wouldn't take the bottle and kindly told me that it will be ok. To which I just sobbed a bit more. He spoke the words that I'm just a little bit tired of: "She'll get hungry enough to take it." For all you non-moms out there, that easy to say. Listening to your 4 month old scream and hit pitches she's never reached before? Not easy. In fact, its down right gut wrenching and not really possible for a mom to bear to listen to.

I know there are other ways to try to get her to take the bottle, like having husband feed her. But how will I be ok while I'm at work, not knowing whether or not she's eaten? And yes, I know, she's not going to starve. But to me, just the thought of her crying like that for someone else breaks my heart, because I won't be there to comfort her.

Blah. Now that I've cried my eyes out just typing this, I think I'll go have my pity party now. Of course, I'd love to have a million Oreos to cure my sadness, but I've given up dairy. Argh.