I hate the doctor and this is why...

Because only something this ridiculous could happen to me, I'm going to share my most embarrassing doctor's appointment. But first, the back story. I hate going to the doctor. I like to keep my privates private. Go figure. Being pregnant, I lost most of my dignity with all the trips to the doctor. Giving birth? Good thing I had drugs, because I really didn't care at that point. The cleaning crew could have walked in while I had my hoo-ha in the air and it wouldn't have phased me.

So today, I had my first annual "girl down there parts" doctor's appointment. To say I was a wee bit anxious would be a complete understatement. For starters, I had E with me. She's usually pretty good and I planned it just right so she would be fed and ready. It also worked out perfectly that it would be during her "playtime" and she would be content to stare at all the friends I brought for her. Of course, that would be if the appointment was actually at the appointment time.

Ten minutes after my scheduled appointment, I am called back. The nurse lets me know that they don't have a room available yet, but she's going to go ahead and get my blood pressure and weight. Oh joy. At least since my 6 week postpartum check up I've lost 20 pounds. That was one bonus. But I digress. When I'm getting my blood pressure taken, I mention to the nurse that I'm breastfeeding, so I'm not sure if that will affect the exam at all. She says, nope, it won't be a problem. In my head, I'm thinking, please don't make me take off my bra because I'm libel to have have a bit of a leakage problem. Still waiting for a room, so I head back into the waiting room.

Another 10 minutes passes and I'm called back to a room. The nurse tells me to get naked and put on the gown-thing. I do as told, while constantly worrying to myself about the aforementioned leakage problem. "Have some patience, self". HA! E is just hanging out in the stroller looking around, so for the time being, we're good. Mind you, I timed her feeding, napping, etc. so that I would only go past her naptime by about 15 minutes. So, I wait. And wait. And wait.

45 minutes later, I'm standing in the room, wearing an ill-fitted gown, holding E because at this point she is tired of being in the stroller. I'm desperately trying to give her toys to play with so that she won't fuss, when I feel sweat on the gown. Funny, thats an odd place to sweat. OH, its not sweat....the dreaded leakage. Glorious. And I'm still waiting.

Finally, an hour after I arrived at the doctor's office, he comes into the room, with his medical student trailing behind. Bonus number two. So now, I'm not embarrassed because the doctor is there to see my nice leakage, but some random med student to boot. Doctor says his thing, blah blah (I'm really not listening because, well, hello, I've got issues!) But when the doctor asks if I'm nursing and I say yes, he goes, oh we won't do the breast exam then. Thank you, nurse, for being wrong! I could have partially saved some embarrassment. Ahh, now for the real fun. The med student is going to do the "exam". Bonus number three. Apparently he's been in med school for like a day, because it DID NOT feel pleasant. I mean, when does that check feel pleasant, but this really didn't feel great. And it seemed like it took a lot longer than it needed to, but I guess Mr. Med School figured, oh she's had a kid, no big deal ramming full speed ahead...BLAH! I'm all for learning and such, but please be gentle.

Luckily, E was so mesmerized by the other people in the room, she forgot about fussing. After all was said and done, I got dressed as fast as possible and bolted out of there. Yet another appointment that leaves me still not liking the doctor. More importantly, I left wondering to myself, why in the world would a man want to be an OBGYN? I just don't get it. It really does baffle me.