Weight Lifted...

In case you haven't already noticed, I gained quite a few pounds while I was pregnant (and even before because I was a happy little newlywed). And for me, weight has always been an issue. I try to make light of the fact that its ok for me to be a little heavy. I joke about it, but in actuality, I don't like it. Its hard to get motivated to work out like I used to and even more so, its hard to diet. In fact, I can't diet. I can hardly stop eating! And I justify eating by telling myself its ok because I'm nursing. And I want to nurse for as long as possible, so if I have to eat, by goodness, I will.

I try to have a good body image even with the extra weight. But I'll be honest. I am ready to be back to "normal". Normal being a post-partum body that is healthy. Before if ever I felt uncomfortable with my body I would make a change. Usually it involved doing something with my hair. Because weight doesn't just dissolve when you want it to, the easiest thing for me has always been changing up the hair style. Most notably, changing my hair color.

Changing my hair color isn't really in the cards for me. I can't just show up to Court looking like Strawberry Shortcake because I still haven't lost the weight! I have to keep it professional. So, a few weekends ago, I got my hair cut. My hair was super duper long. Like half way down my back long. And frazzled. My usual style was just wearing it pulled up in a pony tail. And this "do" really didn't help with the self image thing. I didn't feel "pretty". I felt like a frazzled mom of an infant who's lucky to get a shower. (Funny story, thats exactly what I am!)

But after my haircut, I can manage the style better. I can dry it and style it and feel like I look decent. I know Husband thinks I'm beautiful, but there is something to be said for getting other assurances. So the day after my haircut, when I had it styled, make up on my face and a new shorter hair attitude, I got a little something that made me smile.

I got noticed.

While I was walking into a restaurant to pick up dinner, some young men looked at me. It wasn't much, but they did the typical male "look", the casual glance that made me smile just a little. There were no cat-calls or whistles, but the look was just enough to add a little pep in my step. A little confidence that yes, I do indeed still "have it". Don't really know what "it" is, but apparently I've got a little of it left.

And so, with the hair gone, I'm reminded that the weight doesn't determine if I'm beautiful or not. Its the confidence I have and the person on the inside. So heavier or not, I'm still the same old me. Having a baby doesn't change the person you are deep down nor does it detract from your beauty. You're still a head turner, even if you thought you lost it :)