I have to admit I'm jealous. Of several things really.
I'm jealous of women who can breastfeed with no problems. But I need to be a little more specific. I'm jealous of women with small breasts who can breastfeed without a serious production involved. For me, E has been a trooper, eats great and I've had no typical problems nursing, except every feeding involves a large production. Because I am severely "well endowed", I have a special pillow that I wear (literally, it snaps around me) to make it easier to nurse. In fact, without the pillow I fear I would suffocate E with the boob. It makes things easy for me, as I can have one hand free, but it makes leaving the house rather difficult. If I am going out to the in-laws or a friend's house, I take the pillow with me. Which always makes me feel strange when I arrive with it in tow. I'm jealous of those women who can throw a wrap over their shoulder and just nurse wherever they are. I'd love to be able to take E out to eat and if she gets hungry, hold her in my arms and nurse with a cover over me. Instead, I have to plan all outings around when I think she might be hungry. And if we're out and she gets hungry, I get flustered. I don't want to be the mom who has a screaming baby with her, but I know that feeding her isn't an option. So while I don't normally mind having large breasts, today I'm jealous of those with small ones.
I'm jealous of babies who take a bottle with no problem. E has taken a bottle and eaten enough maybe 4 times. And I've tried several different types of bottles/nipples. She just wants to nurse. And I love it, except when we have plans. So, for a while, any plans we have are limited to friend's houses or the in-laws. Going out for longer than 2 hours isn't really an option. And again, I have to plan my time away from home around when she ate the last time. Hopefully with time she'll come to know that she's getting food out of the bottle.
With hesitation I must admit I'm jealous of those who formula feed their babies. I know "breast is best" and all of that, but the freedom that comes with formula makes me envious. I would love to just get up and go somewhere any time I want, but again not possible. I always thought I'd be that mom that just goes with the flow and the baby would make a schedule around my life. Ha, yeah right. I know for the next long while, I'll have a baby who is essentially attached to me. But the bond we share I could never give up. So, I'll remain slightly jealous and just keep doing what works!
Haha! Oh, Cari...I understand. Now, I don't have a special clip on pillow, but man...when my milk came in with Rowan I stood in the mirror with my two massive melons and cried. I'm sure it was similar with Emery, but I don't remember them getting quite so big or me being quite so emotional about it. It gets better, though. I promise! After a few months...maybe more the boobs do go down and it gets easier. I used a boppy with Emery for months. Then with Rowan, I guess being my second, I just adjusted quicker and was feeding him at church by week three. I definitely have a very big nursing cover (it's actually a wrap from Kenya that covers my whole upper half) since I have to make sure and hold my breast and well as baby's head the whole time. It helped me a lot. It is kind of crazy looking down at your sweet wee one and thinking, "Geez, my boob is twice the size of your head." I was jealous for a long time of the moms who could just throw a sweater or blanket over their shoulder and nurse. Since I had both hands occupied I was always at risk of sudden exposure. Like I said though, it does get better and as E gets older she won't need your help the same way and the boobs do eventually go down. You will be able to fit into your old shirts...after awhile :) Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, do I ever know the problem you're talking about. Especially with P. being born early, so I was literally WAY bigger than her head. And even when she got bigger, I couldn't just "put her on" - I had to hold *me* like a bottle (if you catch me). I ended up finding lots of private corners to nurse in, and I almost always felt exposed anyway. But my smaller friends? They could nurse, in public, and you couldn't see ANYTHING!
ReplyDeleteBut don't be jealous of the formula feeders, really. It seems convenient, but imagine having to make up a fresh batch multiple times each day, washing bottles and nipples every night, etc. Plus, it costs an arm and a leg. It really ends up being a lot more work.
Cari-
ReplyDeleteI have been there and understand. With Zack, my oldest I swore by the breast friend pillow. I used it everytime I nursed. It helped me for the same reasons as it helped you. He did not take a bottle either. So with Jake , my second I quickly became a pro. I learned how to carry Jake around to take care of #1. I went down 2 cup sizes from nursing Zack and practiced more with the bottle. You would think by the time I had my 3rd boy I would have practiced more with the bottle. I did not. So as the months went on I got desperate to leave the house. We tried multiple bottles. I finnaly found one that worked. it was called Breast flow. It is 2 tipples inside each other that simulates the breast. It was a miracle. Good luck!!! Barbara